Many of us have fears, fears that we have to conquer or accept. Please excuse the somber tone of the words as they come together, expressing thoughts of mine and those of the angels I interview. My biggest fear is of not living up to my full potential; therefore I am unafraid trying things most wouldn’t. For our current angel, Olivia Nguyen, her biggest fear is of losing those that she loves most. “I’d be a wreck,” she says. I have been losing those closest to me for a very long time which acclimated me to the pain of burying a loved one so early that a fear never developed. Instead, a desire to live life to its fullest festered and fear has become nothing more than a precursor to action.

From a small town in western Massachusetts, we have Aubrey. “I have lived here all my life,” she mentions offhandedly. I sit in a public library, city, and state I will keep secret. Aubrey is with me, her essence the reason for these words. Aubrey loves traveling, as do I. A trip is always an adventure for me, however random or planned they may be. “By far the best thing about my city is that everything is only an hour or so away,” Aubrey talks more of the town in which she resides. “The best ski resorts, some awesome beaches, Vermont in the fall is amazing. There is always something right around the corner to be exploring and doing!”

She never leaves home without mascara, lip gloss, money, keys, and perfume. This, to me, signifies her concern with appearance, odor, and access.  The simple joy of being alive makes her a kindred spirit. “[You] never know when it’s your time to go so I live each to its fullest,” Cavel, the Trinidadian beauty living in Bowie, Maryland tells me. Passionate about raising her daughter, family and achieving success, the flip-side of dedication is a developing fear of failure. “Not being there for my daughter and not being successful for her,” are the biggest fears she knows, not surprising given where her passions lie.

She claims Morgantown, West Virginia, as her hometown. She does this mostly out of a sense of nostalgia. “I’ve lived there the longest and it has my heart,” Cara Parrish says. “I spent my youth jumping from tiny country town to tiny country town throughout West Virginia. I don’t live anywhere in particular right now. I lead a gypsy life.” Acting whenever possible, participating in various photo shoots, traveling and hosting events are pretty much all she does. “The best thing about the town I claim is that Morgantown is a completely unique place. It’s a college town but not in the way most places are college towns. Morgantown is completely consumed by its university and students which are predominantly from other states. Being a ‘townie’ makes you a rare commodity of sorts.”

With so much occupying our minds these days, a good conversation where both parties are truly heard is heaven on earth to me. For the many that bravely follow my narrative and these beautiful angels who create the context, our exchanges themselves are examples of good conversation. No judging though criticism is expected. What else would we expect from public discourse? Still, honest questions provoke honest answers and a dialogue is formed out of a need for self-expression. “Hearing about how other people express themselves through art in its various forms is very interesting to me,” says Christie Gabriel, a stunning and erudite model from the Chicago area; a perfect balance of beauty and brains. I think I’m in love.

Not all angels are created equal. Each is endowed with unique special gifts, which allow them to have a desired effect on a specific set of circumstances or person. From what I've gathered, Yelinice’s gift is of inclusion. Somehow her beauty is inviting as opposed to causing one to stop and stare, the usual corollary. Her energy is complementary, her willingness to accommodate, offering herself to probing so her admirers can learn about her makes her almost irresistible. “I’m down to earth and don’t have very many haters,” she says honestly. So it’s not just her amazing looks and that impossible figure that invites us in; it’s… her.

So… I apparently burned out another hard drive. My many interviews with beautiful angels and creative minds from around the world appear to have been too much for the electronic hardware. My fingers repeatedly contact letters and symbols imprinted on plastic squares, thousands of pictures cropped and enhanced with multiple programs simultaneously tending to various tasks.  I suppose carrying on in this manner for twelve to sixteen hours a day will put pressure on any CPU. But when it comes to these wonderful angels and all the heaven there is to be found on earth, my addiction, this mission is both a blessing and a curse; it demands so much and gives the same in reward.  Its girls like Johannie Valdes that prompt this extreme behavior.

If there is one thing known about me, it’s that I can be incredibly loyal. I say can be because in general, I am simply loyal but when tested I can become incredibly loyal. So often, history has taught me that this loyalty has been ill-fated and misplaced. Like our current angel, Lucy Sobotka, I am only loyal to those in my life whom I love and to those of whom I know respect me for the person I am. And these sometimes related but completely different lessons have saved me from gargantuan acts of futility. I believe loyalty should, in essence not totality and definitely not immediate, reap a positive benefit in a person’s life. When that fails to happen, I suggest reconsidering…  your loyalty may be misplaced.

A broken heart leads to a gorgeous girl into the world of beauty and glamour. For a girl who could probably find a guy anywhere, it shows a vulnerability usually reserved for the truly unworthy, something she is far from. What makes a beautiful girl end up with low self-esteem? I have always been puzzled by this, however, when we talk of emotions and the humanity that is supposed to be in us all, mysteries persist and abound.

Alone in Times Square, I had an opportunity to reflect. Yes, I did this in the ever-bustling area of Midtown Manhattan; it’s a gift and a curse to zone out regardless of my circumstances. This has helped preserve my sanity on many an occasion. I thought about my much storied history, that which shouldn’t hold one as a slave but still help define the person we’ve become or hope to become. Our current angel, a delicate beauty with a robust resolution, Natacia understands this better than most. The sacrifices, the regret we come to appreciate, the loves, the pains, the desires, and ultimately the final acceptance of who we are and what must be done.